Author Instituto Mexicano Youth
From the moment we are born we assign expectations, values \u200b\u200band norms according to gender to which we belong, is say, learn how we act, think and feel in our condition as men or women.
Following the feminist movement, and the massive entry of women into the workplace and universities, study and analysis of the conditions of inequality, subordination and discrimination that women face in their daily life has gained increasing importance. By delving into the reasons for this situation and find answers to change, students and scholars met to discuss the need for subjects who were on the other side dela currency, "men. It was necessary to describe where they were, what they did, the inequitable conditions in which they lived, and how was the relationship between them and women in particular social contexts, the family, school, work, etc.
Following the feminist movement, and the massive entry of women the workplace and universities, study and analysis of the conditions of inequality, subordination and discrimination that women face in their daily life has gained increasing importance. By delving into the reasons for this situation and find answers to change, students and scholars met to discuss the need for subjects who were on the other side dela currency, "men. It was necessary to describe where they were, what they did, the inequitable conditions in which they lived, and how was the relationship between them and women in particular social contexts, the family, school, work, etc.
Thus, with elsurgimiento the concept of gender and gender, has achieved a greater understanding of the situation of women and implement proposals to solve specific problems. In this way reflections and studies have appeared about the condition of men who have shown that behaviors, beliefs and individual activities play socially established ways of living and expressing masculinity that often hinder the construction of other ways of life more fair and equitable, and other ways of doing, thinking, feeling and acting of both men and women.
This type of study and reflection, which has placed increased attention on the specific situation of young people, is allowing men to understand their own experience within society and is becoming the basis for establishing new relationships with other men and women.
In our society, as a rule, we believe that life is easier for men than for women, is common to hear phrases like: "I would have liked to be a man, they do what they want, "" Women suffer more than men " "A man only has to work and walk in the street, how easy!" "As a man, I can do whatever they want," "Good boy was born, girls must look after them more." These statements express beliefs rooted, nurtured by men and women, they form both of them as these patterns of behavior, emotions, attitudes and images of what "should be" men and women. But in reality, is it true that men have fewer problems? What do you think?
While it is true that men have relatively more freedom than women (night life, missing home, walking alone, to choose which place to be, among others), this does not mean your life easier. Today it is increasingly common to find men who have begun to ask why, just because they are men, have to meet certain expectations as being courageous, successful, aggressive, powerful, and so on., Or why they censorship they externalize feelings or emotions "own" women such as tenderness, patience, pain, depression or fear.
Imagine the day that a young man named Fernando. A Fernando you were taught that it will depend the maintenance of a family and you have to work or study to address this future. Therefore, tell you what career to study or where to work to earn enough money. But what if Fernando noquiere do any of those things?, Fernando what if instead of studying engineering, law, medicine or architecture you want to be a musician, or artisan, or engage in the dance or the theater? It will probably be criticized porsus family members or persons, as it is not doing his "duty" of man.
On the other hand, suppose that a girl like Fernando, he is expected to the courtship and persists until it is fixed in it. What if he does not woo?
What if women take the lead? Perhaps not only him but the girl will be criticized, because this is not "normal" is not what mark our customs and beliefs.
Fernando also had to accept challenges from their peers, that put at risk as fighting with other men, to show that is brave, strong, dominant, and so on. When talking or interacting with their friends compete to be the first to take alcohol, which has more kids or know more women, who knows more about cars or football or any other sport. Maybe you've had sex without wanting them, or kissed a woman has unwittingly not only look bad with your friends. How many times Fernando will be walking at night, in dangerous places, thinking that being male is not going to happen at all? Surely repeatedly been frustrated and wanted to mourn, but he does not fear or embarrassment to others to see and be labeled as "gaudy" or "coward." How many times will have been punished for not expressing it is afraid, it is not as strong as it's supposed to be? Do not you be worried some time to think about the size of your penis?
Although Fernando is an imaginary character, these situations often occur in the daily lives of most men, youth or adults. Have you ever wondered what are the causes of these attitudes and patterns of behavior which seeks to reaffirm their masculinity?
This reflection is important because many of the ideas, beliefs and customs that we learn from the environment around us lead us to adopt certain practices and behaviors that, in the case of men, too often affect its integrity physical, psychological, emotional and prevents them from developing their human potential, such as to openly express their emotions and affections.
practices and behaviors are learned from an early age. Children are trained to follow a model or pattern of behavior that are taught to act decisively and safely, to compete, to protect, to be tough, successful, to accept challenges, to be strong emotionally and dominate others through the exercise of poder.En adolescence are allowed to exercise their sexuality without so many restrictions and they will encourage the belief that they should be the breadwinner or provider of the family, excluding or denying the participation of joint-life couple.
These behaviors, they are imposed, may appear to put men at a disadvantage, since they may have and exercise power and control over others (as). But, as discussed in the next chapter, these attributes to them socially and culturally prescribed result in men prone to violence and therefore problematic for society and for themselves, since they are asked to exalt emotions that supposedly reaffirm their masculine identity, such as aggression, anger, competition, courage, but they give their opinions repressed fears and anxieties, which brings damage to their ability to interact, live and take care of (as) others (as).
In this role model, which determines the rules (as permitted and forbidden) with regard to how they should behave, think and feel the men in a particular society, in this case Mexico, the hereafter call the traditional male model. With him, we address the feature set conformanel that must be men in our society
Masculinity is defined as the set of attributes, values, attitudes and behaviors that are characteristic of being a man in a given society.
is important to note in this definition to the rules that each society assigns to men varíande according to social context in which we are located.
is, depend on the time of the culture that is immersed in the ideological currents - whether political or religious - education, social group membership (family, friends, clubs , work, etc.) and the influence of the media. For example, is not the same as a man of the city of Monterrey, the city of Tamazunchale, San Luis Potosi or the Mixteca in Oaxaca. Even within the city of Mexico is not like a man of Polanco, the city of Nezahualcoyotl or Narvarte colony, as the different conditions in which each man lives are giving him different shades the characteristics of masculinity.
The subjectivity of each person to live also influences of different forms of masculinity. Subjectivity refers to the way each person interprets reality. This is easy to understand: if you look at a painting, a drawing or a movie with a friend and ask them what they were, chances are your answers will be different, more or less similar. This does not mean any (a) of you is wrong (a) but each one (a) has a way of interpreting reality according to his personal history.
Lo mismo pasa con la masculinidad; aunque a los hombres social y culturalmente se les trata denormar y estandarizar su comportamiento para que vivan de acuerdo a una forma única de masculinidad, tomando como base lo que dicta el Modelo Tradicional Masculino, ellos no siguen éste al pie de la letra, ya que su subjetividad interviene para transformar o variar lo que se les enseña. Sobre todo cuando cuestionan lo que han aprendido y ven que da lugar a desigualdades, discriminación o injusticias, optan por modificar el modelo que culturalmente se les impone.
En otras palabras, resulta imposible encasillar las diferentes experiencias y formas in which each UNODA men express their masculinity, that is, no one but many masculinities. That is why in this text we will use, rather than the term masculinity that of masculinities in the plural.
Keep in mind that there are many masculinities, and no one allows us to consider and include men who do not fit entirely in the traditional male model and recognize and respect those that do not correspond to our context social. With this we can create in us and around us an attitude of inclusion and respect for diversity.
What
men are doing about masculinities? These think tanks have been working since 1975. In the past 20 years have prompted a series of activities in various fields, mainly in the academic, healthcare and education, about claims that have a main theme of masculinity. This social movement is made up of several areas or "movements" that are currently in a stage of organization-building and exchange of views and information, disseminated through the media, publications and online. Among the main slopes are found, the pro-feminist movement, mythopoeic, therapies of masculinity, the rights of men ("men's rights") and male fundamentalism.
"Men do not cry if you cry you are not man." "Men should not be weak, if you express what you feel you are weak, if you feel you are not man." "Men are more men when they are parents of sons." "Men are not women, if women do things you're not man." "Men have the power, if you have no power no man. "Men are strong and aggressive, if you show you are not peaceful man."
These phrases represent some of the mandates with which the men from children construct their masculinity day.
As mentioned in the previous chapter, in our culture prevailing tendency to shape the males according to the requirements of a traditional male model.
In this model of masculinity conveys an image of men focused on outward appearance (show to others that it is strong, confident, competitive, winner), which removes almost all a factor of paramount importance: the inner, ie everything related to the feelings, emotions and needs, aspects that are traditionally considered "female" or "women's things." Thus, it is generating a "fear of the feminine", based on the belief that man, in carrying out or externalize emotions supposedly female, lost their prestige. However, in reality, seconvierte this belief in a repressive practice that forbids men to explore other possibilities of expressing masculinity. This is clearly seen when people criticize men who cooperate in the work of the home called "mandilones."
According to some research on the subject, this "fear of the feminine" in men confrecuencia creates a contradictory feeling towards women, ranging from absolute rejection (misogyny) to the need of them (emotional dependency).
Another defining characteristic of this model of being human is that masculinity is always in doubt, so that the man is forced to show strength continuously and pass certain tests. In that sense, young people still resort to certain practices to demonstrate their masculinity, as speeding the time to have sex / intercourse for the first time, secretly smoking the first cigarette with friends (as), demonstrate that you are a heavy drinker in the first binge, spending the first night out, among others. In our culture it is accepted that these situations are a requirement to "train as men" and become part of everyday life of young people during the process of building and reinforce male identity. However, having to continually demonstrate that "a man" causes emotional and physical. Clearly, because they live according to this traditional model of masculinity, without a critical reflection, there is a lot of people frustrated and stressed because they can not meet what is expected of them according to that model.
Other consequences arising from having to continually show as being invincible, confident, successful, and never show weakness, no failure, no show feelings, etc., is an expression of masculinity is known as machismo. Everyone has probably heard more than one occasion phrases like I'm too macho!, I give you my word of man!, Behave as males!, This is the business of males!, Among others. But all this machismo What?, How is expressed in our daily lives?
The machismo is characterized by the worship of virility, by an exaggerated aggressiveness and intransigence of men and an attitude of arrogance and sexual aggression against women. A classic example of machismo not show films Pedro Infante. This actor represents man in his characters womanizer, cheating, drinking, the view that devalues \u200b\u200bwomen, who defends his "dignity of man" to nearly any comments interpreted as an insult, he is worried about continually demonstrate their masculinity their potency and their ability to breed. This type of man, which is also found in everyday life, he is a problem for society, for women and for himself. In his relationship with women, to reaffirm their masculinity, humiliation, belittles, disqualifies them, making decisions for them, do not listen to their interests, etc..
For
itself is problematic because it prohibits externalize feelings or emotions from their point of view it will show weak, vulnerable, "feminine" and only permitted displayed behaviors that brave, competitive, winner, which often carries risks, accidents, violent confrontations, health problems, etc.
Socially, machismo does not allow women to participate and decide in public, conducting political activities, demand their rights, to make attempts to gain independence or challenge the power relations .
Machismo is not exclusive to men, this attitude also have some women, when uplift only what men do when they do not consider the opinion of other women and discriminate or destructively criticize what they do; there are also many women who think that only men are capable of making good decisions and that they do not concern them household chores.
Machismo and micromachisms
In general, the machismo associated with the brutality and harshness. However, it also adopts soft and delicate forms are known as micromachisms. The practices refer tothe micromachisms that men do at the micro and everyday to maintain its domination and assert their power. These forms are so subtle they are almost imperceptible and difficult to identify. Chivalry, socially accepted and even desired by many women, is the most sophisticated and elegant micromachisms.
chivalry Behind lies the idea that women need to be protected because they are fragile, helpless and indecisive, while the man is the powerful, protective and dominant. In this sense, how many women have dreamed conencontrarse the "Prince Charming" who will fall in love and solve suvida, or how many men did not use chivalry as a way miseducate and gain control in a relationship?.
Even in men who are exploring new ways of "being a man" is common to hear "I'm not sexist because I am in the housework." It may seem insignificant but, to use the word "help" is denoted the belief that housework remains the responsibility of our mother, our sister, friend, girlfriend or partner. Use, however, the word cooperate or collaborate effectively means that we want to assume responsibilities and activities is shared with our families, couples or friends (as).
Both micromachisms machismo as affect the lives of men and women, as their practice, whether it is expressed subtly or grossly, has always intended to impose a power and exercise control over the people around us. Keep in mind this will allow us to identify these expressions of traditional masculinity, and take responsibility of the role young people play to transform and do not contribute to the persistence.
In summary we can say that the traditional model that we learn to live masculinity is based on four essential elements shape it:
is not to talk about feelings, especially with men. However, the emotional needs of men there but its expression is prohibited, limited or reduced to stereotypes. It is common to see Some men shy away from intimacy, refuse to talk about their feelings and refuse to seek help.
obsession with achievement and success: socialization male, that is, the way men learn to relate to others, rests on the myth of the "winner."
This involves being in a permanent state of alert and competition, playing a self-regulating repressive manifestation of the pain, sorrow, pleasure, fear, etc., Ie, those feelings usually associated with weakness.
what makes a man to be trusted in a crisis, that looks like an inanimate object, a rock, a tree, something completely stable ever show your feelings.
Being bold:
These four basic elements are translated into a style of relationship with the world characterized by affective behavior limited, restricted sexual behavior, and attitudes based on control models, power and competence, as well as a difficulty for health care.
Most men take the above elements to relate to (as) other ( as) in the everyday. However, what is happening to them and lasjóvenes?, "Young people currently live their masculinity influenced by the traditional male model?
is well known and used the phrase "times change." Indeed, social and cultural conditions in which we live have changed, and thus the "sermujer" and "manhood" is undergoing slow changes. However, the tendency to educate men to comply with the characteristics of traditional male model continues to prevail.
The fact that this model of masculinity has certain generalized features does not necessarily mean that every man follow them exactly because, as mentioned above, there are many ways to be Man, that is, different masculinities. However, there are a number of matters relating to power, violence and sexuality that is socially assigned to young men and they are expected to adopt them as part of their masculinity.
Power is the key term to refer it comes to the hegemonic masculinity as the central feature of laforma dominant masculinity is equate being a man hold and exercise any power and control over others.
The power is defined as the ability or the means do something, or as having strength or capacity for something, and can have a positive and a negative use. In lapositiva, it has the power to satisfy needs, to combat lasinjusticias and oppression, also has the power to love, to explore, Labour, to develop, to create. All men and women, to a greater degree omenor have experienced these meanings of power.
However, the negative use, power is considered to be synonymous domain. The use of power with its meaning has been played for generations and has established and justified the domination of men over women through the centuries.
in the traditional masculine power is understood as a power is used arbitrarily and negative influence or dominate others, usually found in an inequitable situation facing which has Powerto: women, children, elderly, disabled, etc. Thus, this use of power, rather than related to the sex of the people, tieneque do with the privileged position they have on their social structure, a position usually occupied by men.
Within this model, young men are still being educated to make decisions and give orders, that is, educating them to exercise power.
However, it is important to stress that the exercise of power, negatively, merely recycle and reproduce the conditions of inequality, discrimination and exclusion in living large segments of the population, these young people.
Violence
Violence is the act of forcibly subjecting a person to do or stop doing a certain action. There are manifestations of violence of physical, sexual, psychological and gender, among others. This is the case of the man who assaulted a woman, a partner or their sons or daughters, both physically and psychologically, to submit to his will.
is very common among men and further use of violence as a "natural" relationship between them. For example, it is common for two men "solve" their problems to shock, because it is a way to measure forces and subdue the opponent. In addition, through violence are marked spaces and acquired status and power, not only to other men but to women.
This way of relating is called the triad of violence. That is, the violence exercised by men against other men, against women and, finally, against themselves.
Teach men that an important part of masculinity is composed of aggressiveness and competitiveness has led to tolerance of physical aggression and domination. When a young man does not comply with this stereotype, it is often rejected by their group of friends, causing that even without meaning to be violent, it is, because that depends on its acceptance by the groups to which he belongs or wishes to belong.
worth noting that male violence is exercised more often to women, because in the eyes of men who fit the traditional model afformations violence is socially acceptable to dominate and manipulate who are considered weaker or less.
The third key feature of the Model Traditional Men have to do with sexual performance. In this sense, man is expected to have an active sex life, usually reduced to achieve erections and penetrations without any form of emotional expression (love, sensuality, tenderness, etc.). In this way, men can and should learn to separate their feelings of sexual pleasure, and to live their sexuality under the misconception that the more sex they have with a large number of people, more men are. This belief leads many young men and adults to situations of distress rather than pleasure, and who feel compelled to constantly prove they are a "sexual power." This way of living sexuality ignorance brings emotions, feelings and emotional needs and pleasure, both belonging to the couple, and thus an inability to relate to the emotional and sexual.
Therefore, men who do not agree to this model, making decisions about their own sexuality, allowing themselves to be tired, have not always wanted or enjoy a full sex-based in both their knowledge propiocuerpo as the pair, where sex is desired and satisfying for both partners. They are also convinced that sex should not serve to demonstrate of manliness to anyone.
Some myths about masculinity
From what was said in previous chapters, we can identify some of the myths associated with traditional male model:
As you can see, these beliefs prevent a deep reflection about the disadvantages of staying in the traditional male model. You need to put aside these myths to advance the construction of new forms of being a man, a process that can and should be involved especially young men and women actively and critically.
The disadvantages of staying in the traditional male model, pressures and frustrations at not being able to meet social expectations about being "real men", the belief that this model is limiting their development as people, has caused a lot of men think about the male condition and propose new meaning to their masculinity. What does bring new meaning to masculinity? Means giving a new meaning, to question how they have been taught to live, give a new direction to look for other ways of "being men."
This redefinition is a task that takes time, and that means looking at ourselves (as), reflect on what we are, and probably modify some aspects of our lifestyle. Implies self-criticism and ask what we want for ourselves, how we live, what we do to achieve this we want. These questions are not always easy to solve, and the answers may be different depending on the stage of life where the individual seencuentre. In the case of men who live the traditional masculinity this redefinition deformation is complicated, since changes need to give up the supposed "advantages" queel traditional model provides.
young
However as worth the effort if we want to find ways of relating more just, humane, equitable and satisfactory to all. The process of redefinition of masculinity held by many men and shows that it is possible to propose and practice different ways of living one's masculinity, and masculinity choose freely determined and constructed individually.
However as worth the effort if we want to find ways of relating more just, humane, equitable and satisfactory to all. The process of redefinition of masculinity held by many men and shows that it is possible to propose and practice different ways of living one's masculinity, and masculinity choose freely determined and constructed individually.
Here are some alternatives that have led men to live a different masculinity to the assigned.
relations between men tend to be based on acceptance of roles and positions within a group, rather than an intimate and personal discussion about what happens to them.
In this way, masculinity is further assigned a kind of resistance to emotional and physical contact between men, which translates into fear and rejection of the possibility homosexual. This fear of homosexuality prevents the display of affection between them because it calls into question his masculinity, as if to have resembled those attitudes of women and allegedly provoked the sexual attraction to men.
The consequence of this that most men fear intimacy with other men too. It is considered that the feelings expressed toward other men should not Irmãs beyond the admiration and respect and, of course, "a strong slap on the shoulder."
Each man chooses the way they relate to other men as a way to express your feelings towards them. In this alternative form of masculinity live believes that relations between men does not necessarily have to be violent and need not necessarily involve sexual attraction; sine MBARGA, respecting the right of others to define their sexual preferences and his decision is not reason for rejection.
is assumed that men are capable and have the right to experience and express the same feelings that women without thereby being a "sissy." The close friendship between men is positively evaluated.
assigned Masculinity
In the model of masculinity assigned the man is the head of the family, is in charge and others obey, knows what is best for everyone and has the last word. According to this model, men should not participate in housework, as it is a rightful role to women.
Within the family, men (father, brothers, etc.) Should be attended by women and often enjoy privileges such as being "chosen" to be lespaguen studies , are fed first, more and better, because they are losque going out to work, are attended by the doctor because they are "men of the house", ie the alleged suppliers responsible for family survival.
But also have prohibitions and obligations associated with their status as men have to be the main breadwinner of the family, should be successful and make money, have to be strong and show no fear of any circumstances, have to be smart and infallible, their emotional needs should be in the background, etc.
is recognized that all family members have the same rights and obligations will lighten the burdens of domestic work with distributed equally between women and men and learn to value this type of work will promote dialogue and respect as a form to live in harmony and keep the family together.
addition, men and women enjoy the same freedom, are valued equally and expressions of affection between all family members are experienced as natural and acceptable.
Men who are parents assume it is not enough to get and keep their sons and daughters, but they share common needs, problems and achievements and learn to grow and develop together with them and them.
Thus, men recognize and exercise their right to paternity caring for children, changing diapers, feeding them, taking them to school, etc. This is when it comes to parenting, is a proposal which seeks to equity exists both within the family and outside it.
assigned Masculinity
Traditional masculinity man imposes some behaviors in the relationship that is supposed to ensure success, harmony and happiness. For example, having control over women's behavior (deciding how to dress, who to see, what to speak, what to drink, etc.) As well as on decisions affecting them (to go for a walk , what house to buy, Where to live).
A typical behavior of this lifestyle masculinity is the daily exercise of violence. According to the Men's Collective for Equal Relations (CORIAC) physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, abandonment, neglect, infidelity, threats, intimidation, isolation, emotional abuse, devaluation and economic abuse or threat to do any of these actions are the most obvious forms of intimate partner violence.
Through this exercise unequal power man loses the opportunity to live a full a relationship based on mutual respect, he also loses the ability to contarcon discussion areas to facilitate fair and equitable the development of both people and, above all, lose the opportunity to choose a new way of being human.
The exercise of a different masculinity means learning to resolve conflicts with your partner, saving the harmony and mutual respect, which requires safe personalities, open attitudes and information that is useful to resolve everyday conflicts.
According to the proposal CORIAC, a relationship based on equality is one in which negotiations are fair, that is, consider the point of view otrapersona solutions are sought convenient to both parties and estádispuesto to reach an agreement, it practice non-threatening behavior, comoactuar and speak so that the other person feel safe and comfortable DEEMS their things and express themselves, it shows respect and listens without judging, recognizing and validating opinions, decisions, space and time, is created unclima of confidence and support for projects, feelings, activities, friendships, beliefs and opinions of the couple. In addition, part of the criteria dela honesty and accepting responsibility for the consequences of actions and recognizing errors and through open communication, together, they make all decisions and agreements.
In other words, masculinity resignified enables man to rebuild itself as a new person ready to share everything with your partner in a relationship of equality and mutual respect.
assigned Masculinity
In the traditional model of masculinity is believed erroneously that men are strong and, therefore, can not happen at all, should not get sick much less complain.
However, given the characteristics aggressiveness and competitiveness, and described, many men are exposed to potentially dangerous situations that lie behind the idea that man must be brave and risky. This fact leads to a large number of accidents, many of them fatal, and also leads men to hide or deny diseases.
Regarding the latter, it is common that men do not allow them to provide help and only do so if extreme need, usually when the disease is already in advanced stages.
addition, we must stress that this model of masculinity encourages conduct that are harmful to health, especially encouraged by the peer group, such as smoking, excessive drinking or use other addictive and harmful substances.
As humans who are all men are at risk of illness and have the right to health care and to express any kind of pain. In an alternative masculinity to express pain is not a sign of weakness but a recognition of humanity itself, the physical limitations and the need for help and support.
Men who seek to establish new forms of masculinity seek the necessary channels to express their emotions openly and promptly, enhancing communication and emotional ties, thus contributing to their health care.
These are men who do not care to prove their masculinity by beating, driving at high speed, carrying weapons, drinking heavily, taking drugs or doing any activity that hinders their health or life-threatening. That is, men confident, responsible for their own body and without fear differently to the provisions of the traditional model.
BIBLIO-hemerography
BELL, Donald (1987). Being a man: the paradox of masculinity, Barcelona: Tusquets Ed.
No. 113
MOORE, Robert. (1993) The new masculinity, Barcelona, \u200b\u200bEditorial Paidós. SOURCE: http://esalud.gob.mx/en/jovenes/jovenes/nuestros-derechos/igualdad-y-perspectiva -de-genero/hablemos-de-masculinidades.html
0 comments:
Post a Comment